Below you will find the questionnaire I use when you engage me to write a remembrance/eulogy speech for you, along with simple instructions for how to respond.
So there is no misunderstanding: This page gathers information about the person being commemorated in your speech. I am available to speak with you over the phone — please text your name to me before you call so that I know it is not spam — at 512-940-0298 if you need assistance with this page, or if you prefer that I interview you with these questions over a recorded telephone call. If you call and I am unable to answer, you will hear a message that I am out of my mind for missing your call. I will return your call as soon as possible.
PLEASE NOTE: Before you enter any information or make any recordings on this page, please be aware that I will not be responsible for keeping any record of what you might do here unless and until you have paid my fee. The recordings and text you enter on this page are for my purposes only in connection with gathering information I use to write your remembrance speech, and there is no other purpose. I will transcribe the recordings you make into text, and I will work from the transcriptions to prepare the remembrance.
Furthermore, youwillrememberme.com is specifically not a recording service; I will only maintain anything you might record on this page if you have engaged my services by paying my fee, and I will only make your recordings available, exclusively to you, for seven (7) days after I complete your speech before I delete them forever. I will not retain any recordings.
Imagine this:
It’s your turn now. You are at the memorial service, walking up to a podium with a microphone. Lights are shining on you, and every eye in the room is looking. Here you are in front of all of the people who cared enough to gather and say good-bye to someone they knew and loved. The room is on emotional edge, a tangle of somber solemnity, grief, and hope.
What are you going to say?
Those of us who are not improvisational geniuses (who can “wing it” seamlessly on a live microphone) usually prepare remarks, rehearse reciting our speech a time or two, and then stand up and speak from the heart at the service.
You start telling a story about a funny adventure you had with the subject of your speech, and the sweet sound of genuine laughter erupts. You have just put a smile on the faces of folks who are mourning. You have made them feel good in a sad circumstance. You have just given them catharsis, helping release their emotional tension and get some relief from how they feel.
You helped.
The Questionnaire
I will ask you 54 questions plus some written fact-oriented questions in the form of a conversation between you, your loved one, and me. I examined and analyzed my personal experience in writing and giving speeches honoring my own loved ones, and I pondered what questions I would need to ask to get someone (who is not me) to share such highly personal memories with me as a writer. That’s when the imaginary conversation format revealed itself to me.
This will require some imagination on your part to complete since you will be the voice of your loved one in this conversation along with being yourself.
We know each other through the experiences we share together, and I developed this approach for gathering information about your loved one to help put you in the frame of mind to recall memories of your relationship together and conversations you might have had.
That’s where the best stories emerge.
How to Use This Page:
I will ask you about your loved one. My aim is to get you talking about this person you love, to get your memories flowing. You may wish to scan through the questions before you start answering them.
Please enter your email address information before the first question. This page captures your memories and emails them to me when you press the Submit button at the bottom of this page — this is how I keep track of them. I am happy to interview you by a recorded telephone call if that would be more comfortable for you.
You will be making recordings of yourself speaking. If this seems awkward or uncomfortable to you, I am more than happy to personally interview you in a recorded phone call that may take as much as 2 hours to complete, depending on the stories you remember. The questionnaire is rather thorough. Please familiarize yourself with it before the interview to give yourself time to start your memories flowing.
I have set this up to make it easy for you. All you do is speak your responses to my questions – just hit the record button after each question.
Please don’t be nervous or apprehensive about recording your voice, or about becoming emotional as you proceed – the purpose of this is to capture your memories as they occur to you as fast as they occur to you.
This works more efficiently than me asking you to write your response – I can only speak for myself, but I find that I can speak much faster than I can touch-type.
If you are more comfortable writing your responses, that’s fine, too.
And don’t worry if you stray away from the topic of the question while recording – if something occurs to you, let’s catch it when it happens and let me worry about organizing later.
Your device may ask you if it is o.k. for you to give access to youwillrememberme.com to its microphone for recording. Please allow access.
Please speak as clearly as you can at your normal speed.
Press the Record button and start speaking. When you have said what you had to say, press Stop. You can listen to what you have recorded. Then press Send to submit each recording to me.
Please keep in mind that the object of recording your voice is to catch memories as they occur to you — I discourage you from resetting the recorder to do a second take — the first take, including possible mistakes, is the better take. This does not work as well if you overthink your answer.
Our Conversation:
Imagine a being part of a conversation between your loved one and me. You will play the role of your loved one, giving his or her responses in our conversation. Before each question I ask, I will tell you something or a story about me to demonstrate the kind of information or story that I am seeking.
I live in Texas, so I will use the word “y’all” a lot in informal conversation to mean both of you or to refer to multiple people.
The Scene:
Imagine, just imagine, that we are sitting together comfortably around a table outside, in a coffee house or a bar, or in your living room, perhaps drinking coffee or tea or perhaps an adult beverage or two, just talking.
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